The Problem with Quizzing

“What’s this?!” “What animal is this?” “What sound does the cow make?” “What colour is this?!” Does this series of questions sound familiar to you? It’s probably because they are common questions posed by parents to their little ones. I get it. We want to show off our children’s skills and what better time than when we’re around family and friends? So we quiz our children and have them demonstrate everything they’ve learned recently. We’re well-intentioned. We’re so proud of everything that they can do! But here’s the problem (and it’s especially relevant for late talkers): quizzing puts a LOT of pressure on our little ones.

Were you ever subject to a pop quiz by a former teacher or had a question directed at you in class? I know that I have. The pressure builds, the anxiety is overwhelming and we force an answer to comply. And herein lies the problem: by quizzing, we are forcing our children to communicate. It doesn’t feel nice and it’s unnatural.. but more importantly, it doesn’t encourage language skills. So what the heck do we do instead?! We let our child take the lead, allowing them to initiate communication, offering a helping hand when necessary. This shows to your child that: 1) you are engaged. 2) You’re ready to listen. 3) You’re interested in what they’re interested in and finally: 4) there’s no pressure to communicate - they can do so when they’re ready.

This has been a learning curve, even for me. I am somebody who loves to ‘fill the silence’. So when things get quiet, I feel tempted to ask questions, initiate play scenarios and talk up a STORM. But I have learned that these behaviours aren’t great for a child who is learning to contribute and take turns. So I take a step back and observe. I am almost always amazed at the attempts at communication that I witness when I do this.

So my advice to you is this: when you feel that temptation to quiz: pause and observe how your child initiates communication. Listen intently, and show that you are interested and ready for whatever it is that they’d like to contribute.

Will you give this a try? I hope so!

— Meg